We took our Miss Raeya down again in the beginning of February for another checkup to the doctors. We really didn't know what to expect on this trip. There were nervous butterflies, and lack of conversation from not knowing what to say...(you don't want to discuss the possibilities cause it will just make you that much more anxious)
Although we were preoccupied, Raeya was quite entertained with the large amounts of toys she felt was necessary to take with her in the back seat....
She is hardly aware of what is going on besides the fact that we go on "field trips" and the doctors have to examine her eyes to make them not hurt anymore.
Her check up with the cornea surgeon in Albany went quite well. He was happy to see that her eyes are clear of infection and irritation. Also, we don't have to visit with him until after her surgery. Which means less traveling for us!
After meeting up with the doctor in Albany we headed immediately down to Valhalla. The day also happened to be my husbands thirtieth birthday! We celebrated once we reached Valhalla by getting bakery cupcakes and taking him to dinner.
Mmmm...delicious cupcakes!
The next morning was the most important doctor visit...he would determine what our next step would be in the process of Raeya getting her vision back. After carefully examining her eyes, he was also very happy to see how great her eyes looked. They are bright and beautiful, clear of infection and inflammation. She is no longer photo-phobic and looks up at us. He felt at this point that we may be able to fix the vision in the left eye with glasses. He thought that the scarring was low enough out of her line of vision that this may be possible...HOPE...
Hope that she would only need surgery in the right eye...Hope that she would only have to suffer through the surgery once...Hope that she would only hurt from the healing once...
You feel so much lighter after hearing a little news of hope. A smile crosses your heart and you hold on to it as long as you can. Something was finally working out for her. I smiled for days...we talked the whole way home about how wonderful this news is for us...for HER!!
I called her pediatric ophthalmologist right away..that day on the way home to set up an appointment for eye glasses. We told our family and friends about the exciting news.
We definitely had our hopes high!
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We returned to Albany on the 5th of March. We had a complete plan for her glasses. We had told bus drivers and teachers so that they were aware of the changes. We were going to let her pick out her own glasses so she would want to wear them and not take them off. We were going to buy two pairs just in case she lost one...
The eye doctors spent two hours examining Raeya. After the anticipation and wondering how they were going to work it all out with her vision being 20/70 (left) and 20/700 (right)....I was told that after looking over her thoroughly...glasses would just not be able to help her...our only option at this point is surgery...for both eyes...
I could feel my chest tightening and my eyes starting to sting...
but
you take a deep breath because standing in front of you watching you is your beautiful four year old daughter who has no idea whats going on...and you need to be strong...
you can't cry...
you can't shed a tear...
because children more than anyone else can sense when something is wrong...
That little bit of hope that we had...had just been crushed and turned into dust...
Hope is a horrible thing...it lifts you up and brings you to an extreme high...but as soon as that hope fades...you drop from terrible heights...
We have another appointment in Valhalla the beginning of April...and what we were hoping was to be just a routine check-up just may be the beginning of placing her on the transplant list and her journey to see the world again...
